During his physical examination, a doctor asked a middle-aged man about his physical activity level. The man said he spent three days a week, every week, in the outdoors.
“Well, yesterday afternoon was typical: I took a five hour walk about seven miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through two miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank a scotch and three big glasses of beer.”
Amazed by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!”
“No,” the man replied, “I’m just a really, really shitty golfer.”