This is making the rounds this year, yet again demonstrating Mark Twain’s wisdom:
“Please, take care of yourself this Christmas. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes that just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and shit like that.
Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three and a half times as many accidents.
This message is sent by someone who cares about your well being.”